Belonging 1.1
It is a need. A raw need. A Primary need.
I have been wanting to write about belonging for a while, such an important topic in our healing.
And yes I put the 1.1 because I am quite sure that this topic will have many follow ups articles.
Let us dive in.
Belonging..
Belonging is a feeling. And it is a need.
Every day it is getting clearer and clearer to me that most of our needs are actually feelings that we need to feel.
And our need for belonging is the need to feel that we belong.
The word belong means to me to be part of a group. To form part of a group.
And at the same time to be seen, appreciated, valued while you are being or forming a part of this group.
This is how it should be.
True belonging should be like this. It should also be in harmony with your essence.
I can take it further and say also to be Loved as who you are while you are forming part of this group.
To be loved as who you are means: To feel safe showing your true self and be loved and accepted when you do so.
(The opposite would be : to show who you are and to be shamed and guilted for it)
We are social groups as humans and in our evolution (ALL of the history of our humanity) we always lived in big groups and maybe this belonging was easier than what we now face in our modern lives.
Belonging is such a strong need for us. It is a basic and raw need for us.
Take your time to read the above sentence again
And thus,It is so very important to us.
And then what happens from a healing perspective?
To feel belonging could be one of the most important feelings that we need.
And as it is basic, raw and of primary importance to us it can cause an obstacle in our healing.
The need to belong many times lead us to stay in groups where we should not stay. And in many cases very similar to the dynamics where we were conditioned/socialised.
Two very important things I need you to know:
1-Our conditioning or in other words socialising has not been necessarily in our favour. In things yeah it have been positive and in others no.
2-Our nervous system registers how we were conditioned as normal. It becomes the way we do life.
Until we decide to heal of course. You can read this.
And the after math of this?
We tend to give up many things in order to belong.
Our dreams.
Our authenticity.
Our true desires.
Yeah, the need to belong is very strong and it is of high urgency to us.
My invitation to you today is to journal about these questions:
What is the meaning of belonging to you?
Where do you feel you belong?
Are you happy where you feel you belong?
Are you not happy where you feel you belong?
What are you giving up in order to belong?
Write about it until you can not write any more.
I send you much love.
